Friday, June 11, 2010

Will you ever notice me and love me again...

well i don't know what to do anymore la but hopefully things will turn out to be better than what i expected.......... Well yesterday really sorry to cause all those trouble to my beloved gans cause yesterday was a really huge blow to me already and i really don't know what to do anymore.... Well now maybe have to say sorry for those girls who are waiting for me or even thinking about me...... well think now i have found my miss right and i will be waiting for her even though she maybe liking someone......... well ya i yesterday really cannot see very thing clearly and even thought of suicuding but after that all those talk but my gans i finally decided that i should not do foolish thing anymore but work harder to provide you baby much more than what you would have ever thought........ Well kor yesterday did said that girls in the world are penlty but i only want you,xenia, did you know how much blood i lost yesterday? it is almost as good as a cup of water...... truly after you told me that it was a lied then i was like completely shag after that and was hoping it was all a lie cause i can't believe what you said... you said you like your gan daddy and further more your gan daddy have got a girlfriend already making me more shag that you even like him, well ya i know that your feeling for him is not within the comtrol of yourself but what do you hope for in a relationship with him? is it like me or maybe something different? don't you know that i truly love you till i am willing to give up anything just to be with you? don't you know that for you, i even try to mend the gaps between me and my mother back cause you said that you don't want to see me quarreling with my mother? do you know that for you i already started quitting smoking and even better look for a job to buy you things like ring and even soft toy or chocolate? ya i do admit that i have been rather lifeless but now after what i think the whole night i have thought about it and that is why i came up with the decision to get a job and earn money for you baby to spend... well i know now my life is like upside down but i have already thought about it, if i go in army and finish my sentence then i will come out find a job and continue working and that pick up night classes to get a 'O's level certification and maybe even a poly certification... well i know now we two have to be seperated for one month but i don't mind cause i will change my lifestyle during this time and that maybe strike off as many of my wishlist as possible and ya maybe you may think that for me to quit smoking is like almost impossile but i will be the guy that prove to you that smoking is able to quit..... since now that i am already willing to forget her and let go of my past and slowly moving on then what the point of smoking? like what you my dear baby, smoking will harm my health and i also don't want to harm you so why not i quit now anyway it also cost a lot to just smoke but since now that i have promise that i will quit smoking so i will never touch the again....... well since now that you ask for one month then i will follow but i was hoping that after that it will only end at one month..... well thanks to all those who were beside me and there for me but now the only thing is that my hand is still bleeding but i don't know why:( well like what my blog say, every dragon have their own dream and i think i am just like the dragon. having a dream and now i will wish to slow move my way to it be it fly to there or just slowly walk, cause i know i will make it to there after sometime...... well now i tell you xenia, you have got my whole heart and it will follow you no matter where you go even if before you are married to someone else, i will still snatch you away from the guy cause i promise to be your forever and even if you are married, i will still remain single and wait for you, to be always there for you..... well i know that you may not think that you are worth for me but to me, you are already too perfect to be my and if i expect more from you, i will be punish by heaven for my greediness...... well like what i say, i love you not cuase what you are, but what i am when i am with you..... loving you was never my greatest mistake but my greatest blessing although i have make a great mistake on friendship but i have not make a mistake on my relationship.... well i did ever have a thought of riding a motorbike or even get one but since the last time you told me about your father friend met an accident then i have already promise you, then i won't get one lor..... well thanks baby for being there for me and ya maybe it is time to wake up from this nightmare that i have and move on:) well i will be sure to provide you a better future and hopefully we will be together forever:) my love for you will never stop no matter how hard you tried to break it and avoid it, i will forever be following you and trying my best to protect you from harm:)






well mei i know yesterday her attitude was bad toward you but can you see it on an account of me then dont dislike her cause she is the one that i am truly willing to give up everything for and will never forget what she have done to me cause whatever she do was a thought for me, well why would she want to ask me the be seperated for two year is that cause she think now she can't fit to be my good girlfriend and that i know she have already trying her best to meet me or even loving me but she just can't meet those things that i wanted.... well baby i here tell you that i don't mind you not able to meet or whatsoever but as long that on our first year we are able to go out or maybe meet up then exchange gift for one another.... well now i have already starting to prepare a gift for you but i dont know if you are able to bring home or not cause what i am planning is big for you and hopefully you will like my gift, well mei don't blame her ok? i truly love her and even if she were to kill someone, i will also take the rape for her cause i love her too much and can't bear to see her being harm or anything. well baby this whole post is about you and that hope that it will at least touch you a bit cause everything that i do now is for you and i will live for you and nobody else:) cause my heart have been stolen by you i also have no idea where you hide it so i will forever love you:) well baby if your birthday come and that we both are together then i will get you something that you have thought of having before but you cannot bug me about what it is till the time come ok? well love you and i will be waiting for you... haha the video i have found is for you baby and hope you will enjoy it and the picture is my cut wrist after it stop bleeding:'( i won't mind losting anything for you as long i am with you ok?